Sunday, 30 March 2014

Backstab

Have you ever noticed those knifes stuck behind your backs?


You are bleeding like hell but you didn't notice until someone told you, oh my god your back is bleeding so badly.

Firstly, Hello hi, I am Celine Ng and I am going to tell you how back stabbers work.

They can be an angel beside you, and the next moment you know. They are aiming your back and ready to announce war to you. This is how they work. They bring you down, talk bad about you, ruin your image, ruin your trust towards others, break you.

Killing you slowly, and the best part is, you do not know you are in this piece of shit.

Usually when you realised you have been stabbed at the back, its hard to actually pick yourself up, especially towards those you trusted. It just make them worth 0, or rather, this is how most hates are born.

When you decided to talk shit from that filthy mouth of yours about someone else, you have you bloody think twice. Don't make me call you brainless, or rather, you are. Brainless idiot.


Why do people even want to hurt those that are close to them? Just because you think you know alot of this particular person, and you think you can make a entertaining conversation with another person about them. You are god damn wrong.

What is with that sick mentality you have in your head. Is hurting someone else making you feel immense pleasure? Or do you just seek attention? unwanted attention.

Once you are found out doing this, you are no longer trustworthy. NOT, means you are just an invisible person to me now. My heart no longer contains you, not even a single percent.

If you think apologising will help, hello, should I just take a knife, stab you, say sorry and the end?

Some wounds cannot be healed with an apology. Especially those  that hurt the heart. I trusted you with my heart and all I get back is fucking shit.

Some people just do not understand why are we doing this, if YOU BACK STAB ME, am I going to stand there and continue to let you hurt me? Forgive me to leave you, well, you deserve it. YOU DESERVE IT.

Maybe you really need to be kicked in the face to know how much it hurts. It's worse than that.

Worst part, when you confront the person about it, they don't even remember they said that. How many people have they told to forget who exactly they told. You told others how much you miss spending time with each other, well, I don't find it bad. Let me tell you, I will never forgive, or rather, I can neither forget nor forgive.


I wonder how easy is it for you to say those words.

Coming to a point like this, I wound rather give up everything. The 8 years of friendship, the feeling that I protected you when someone else talked bad about you.

We all know it hurts to be backstabbed. But some people just don't realise how much their words can cause never recovering wounds.


Instagram : @nsnceline

Saturday, 29 March 2014

not a girl, not yet a woman


start with a cute pika pika 

*

I guess I am slowly getting into a point where, I am so tired of everything.

I do not know whether it is because I am growing up, being in the middle of adult and children. Being a teen itself it is already pretty tiring. I do not know why, I really do not know.

There are times where I get into deep thoughts in the class, I hear nothing despite the crazy noise level. All I hear is my opinions and thoughts running the crap out of itself and my strangely fast heartbeat.

I do not know how to face things nowadays, I feel like a cotton ball being compressed and even I was to be let go, I can't go back to my original shape that quickly.

Maybe it is just part of growing up to a fine person in the future, a person who is selfless.



I mean, you can say I read too much divergent and I grew crazy about it. I still think selflessness is an important quality we all should have within. That moment where you put others first instead of yourself. But as humans, we are all self-centered in a sense where we would actually think the best for ourselves before we put others.

I can say I am a pretty honest person nowadays because if I do not like you, you will know it. I don't even bother to hide those hates anymore. You hear bad things about me, I did not deny ALL of them did I? evidence please. I enjoy expressing my feelings, except for sadness. Anger is an expression I am good at letting you know. I am angry, I hit the roof. A person from a mile away would know I am on fire.

Some people just hide them, and it explodes once and for all. It's not healthy.

To all my teenagers friends out there, I said express your emotions, not overwhelm and make a big fuss about your shits and anger. Hello, eventually it's still your own shits to deal with, none of my business. Call me cruel but ain't that true? I could help you but I cannot be there forever to help you.

Moral: Stay Independent

" Anything that drowns me makes me wanna fly "

Those trying to bring me down just make me feel that I am better than this.

Call me arrogant, I am higher than you.


Call me act, I am cooler than you.

Call me stupid, I am stronger than you.


Call me weak, back to you.



How much do you worth depends on how you treat me. You can be as much as the sunrays or as less as ZERO.

3 months passed. Have you grown or have you achieved anything that you want to do in 2014?

Never give up any dreams, chase it because you deserve what you worked for.



Instagram : @nsnceline

Wednesday, 26 March 2014

my happiness

It's hard to fake happiness.

Remember the times where we did stupid things together.

How weird and awkward we felt whenever one of us is absent from school.

How crazy we look in public but we don't care.

How we get our first couple bag.

How we never fought.

How we never ever left each other when times are hard.

How we share chocolates only with each other.

How we communicate through our eyes. LAZAR BEAMS.

We had hand signs where no one else understood.

We done the craziest things, you can never imagine that.

We have been together for short 3 years.

How much closer we got.

We b*tch together.

We gossip together.

We laugh, smile, cry together.

We all need someone like this in our existing life. I am so proud to say, I found mine. She was the summer present I received, wrapped with newspaper sloppishly. I never really was interested in the gift, until I open it to know it contained the most wonderful thing within. I never expect her to even exist in my life for this long, because people come and go like always that I am pretty sure, I am pretty neutral about it. I won't cry, just because people leave me. I never will, because they obviously do not deserve it. My tears are expensive.

She is shiny and bright. But only to me. Like a dead sunflower reignite. She never doubt my words, she took my words seriously, she hear my problems and break them down for me and we solve it together. She is strong, I am strong. We create a perfect combination. She is pretty with a her long jagged and messy hair, she is pure within like clear water, she is loved, at least with me, she will always be.

Feel bad whenever I have things going on and it affects her as well, if it's a problem between me and you, you better do not drag her into shits. Because you do not know what a silent killer until you do that. Because I always constantly have trouble, idk why do not ask me, people like to drag her in the picture as well, I mean like stop. Are you brainless or is your brain eaten by maggots, just because she is my friend and you want to do this to her? Let me tell you girl, you are dumb.

Have you found that person in your life? yes, I found her.



I call her my Best Friend aka a sister god forgotten to gave me.


Instagram : nsnceline

Monday, 24 March 2014

Updates

YES DARLINGS. YOU SAW IT.

I watched, divergent! The movie I crazily anticipated so bad.


in conclusion BOOK > MOVIE

The book has more detail and better scene description I guess. But the movie wasn't bad. It was really exciting and hyper as well.

I cannot help myself. I was just jumping all around everywhere to see divergent because it really has been long since I stepped into the cinema!




I had a hair cut, I ditched my long term layered hair. I used to think layered hair looks the best, but now, I just want to have a light punk hair style but I couldnt shave my sides, so I cut my front hair to very short, as short as a "legal" school bob hair style. But the back of the hair is still obviously long. I can never abandon my long hair.




You know, I love food , I take pictures of my meals, that I think looks yummy. So, now I am going to share some nice food with you.........









During the holidays, I always have pasta for breakfast because I just think that it is so classy. Ok joke, I am addicted to pasta. TOMATO only. I'm so in love with morning scramble eggs. Honestly it's the best thing ever.


watching wahlie tv



Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so never skip it alright! No matter what and how you eat. Maybe you could secretly eat in class.......... candy maybe.

Okay, I am definitely that guilty freak of eating in class, because I always eat in class, whatever you can think of,

Potato Chips, checked.

Gummy, checked.

Pizza, che.... no. not yet but maybe soon WAHAHA.

So, as you guys know for the past 6~8 months, I have been constantly doing workouts. Yes, I lost 3kg since last year. My body fat percentage  can be improved but it is good enough for me now.

Working out makes me feel good honestly, sweat it. If you don't feel the sore next day, you are better than that, do it until you feel sore for days. That's how you are going to change, that is how you are going to feel great, feel awesome, feel that sweet soreness.

2013 august 


2014 March CAN SEE THOSE LINES PPL


REMEMBER DO NOT STOP EATING, I am eating healthily as hell, I eat all craps and awesome. Get working, you want that body. WORK FOR IT, don't expect it to come overnight, because trust me, I am still working hard until now.


And did I already told you guys, my dad was apparently in a good mood and got me a pandora bracelet and yes it is really pretty.





Today, WGS awesome had its first rehearsal and I need your help to help me choose my outfit, I would upload it soon! <3


And, I guess  that is about all the updates for now, hope you caught up alittle with my life.

Good Luck x


Instagram : @nsnceline

Friday, 21 March 2014

Betrayal

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you want to forgive but you also, at the same time, could not forgive.

 

Let's not talk about forgetting because, usually things are not meant to be forgotten so it is etched as a lesson.

Many people say it is like a scar, even if it fades, it is still there.

But I like to say it as, tattoo. You want it, but it hurts. And when you decide to remove it, it hurts even more. And the time for recovery is even longer.


You know its gonna hurt once you step into it. But you still decided to do it.

You know how much it is going to bleed and change you  but you still decided to do it.

You were firm.

But, when people start judging you because you have one.

People give you the fuck face when you walk pass them.

You start asking yourself if you did a right choice.

For me, I don't really care because, I wanted it.

This, does not only imply to things. It implies to people around you. To people all around you.

Your family, your lover, you boyfriend, girlfriend, auntie, uncle.

If someone you trusted really bad, but they betrayed you. They broke down as well and promise they will never do it again. Im a sucker really, I become weak like eff when I see people I love break down because honestly I never want to see them cry. I'd rather take their place and handle all the pain they are going to have.

But at that moment you found the truth all you can think of is, actually you won't even be thinking. You will break down at that moment. Your heart will fall to the ground immediately. And you will have crazy ideas. What have you done to deserve that?

It hurts like a wound, except with salt rubbed into it.


Trusting someone doesn't come easy. Once you trust that person, that person is a potential series killer.

A beautiful killer.


They can have the most angel face to you, treat you like their best, love you to every single bit of your flaws. They're perfect. That's what make them dangerous. They can kill you for all they want.

That is why people say you are better off without people whom you think you need. Because you take strength from them. And if they are gone, where is your strength going to be? You are going to die without someone? Don't be a fool.


For me, I don't need anyone to survive. I said it. But I WANT them.

you could throw me to a desert for 10 days alone, I won't die without people. I die because I don't have food and water.

From this moment on, you, yeah you cannot let anyone be the life of yours. Your life, will not only surround 1 person. There are 6 billion people, there must be someone that wants to be your friend. If this place doesn't have. Move to another.

Just, if someone wants to leave you, let them, it's good for both sides.

People leave me, I don't care anymore. Leave all you want, but you must know, once you leave someone have a high chance of replacing your stand, and I would still be happy. Because people come and go, I don't want to force anyone to stay any longer. I do not have the time to.

Betrayal is the highest level of pain.


Because you cannot see it coming, and it comes in all directions and hit you all at once. ALL AT ONCE.

Just because you think, you think it won't happen. That is where you are in the danger zone again. You are highly likely to be attacked. That is how impulsive people can be, doing the wrong things.

Sometimes, you ought to just sit down and reflect what the eff you actually did for the whole day, what you did right, what you did you think you can do better, or if you meet the same situation how differently will you react to the next time you see it.

Because people grow wiser because they experience things. If you never go out and have enough exposure to the world or just things around you. You are going to be left out, badly, super badly.

Experience is something we all cannot buy and could only have it by doing it.

The more you practice the better it becomes they say, I don't give a shit about this because my math still suck like hell. I keep sleeping, so am I super good at sleeps? mmmmmmmmmm, damn.

just, are you able to forgive and forget easily?

I'm sorry, I can't.



instagram : nsnceline

 dont ask me why, I know the feeling of pain.

CRAZY SALES

GUYs, just an annoucement, because you guys are my dearest so, NOW I GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT I WANT TO SHARE.

solestruck.com is having 40% for their Jeffrey Campbell designs!
DON'T ALWAYS SAY I NEVER TELL! IT ONLY LEFT 19 HOURS!!!!!!!




Wednesday, 19 March 2014

March Camp

Honestly, I rarely feel this way towards others. But I honestly do not hold like anger for long so do not worry.



I had camp for the past 2 days. It was suppose to be a 3D2N camp but, I fell ill so I came back home instead. But honestly I wasn't all that ill too.



I was all hyped up and ready to be high and happy and just create lots of memories and have lots of fun and excitement. But to my dismay, at the start of the camp, when we split into groups, I had immediate disappointment. I could see the Leader of the group trying to bring the group to like hyper but, failed. So, he\she still try his\her best for the group to make it less boring and less unhappy. I feel it, but it wasn't right.

I was just really pissed and really upset about why am I chosen to this group. Why do I need to hold up people and just freaking make myself angry.




So when it was lunch time, I just settled and calm myself down. I made friends with the graduating seniors that I never thought I would ever talk to. And even bonded with some juniors. Which actually made me smile and honestly quite happy.




Played Running CO, this year was special because it was couple race. Where you get to get partnered with someone and your hands get tied together. If the band breaks.... boom, bye. It was super team-building, I personally enjoyed that the most, and I think that it is like the most exciting game out of all the game.

Although it was kind of a screw up after that, because I fell. But honestly not a big deal to me because, playing this type of games, bound to have injuries here and there. It will stop the fun and teacher won't allow me to play anymore, which is a bad thing don't you think?



Yes, I am still in the food committee but this camp was a freaking slack. Because we didn't need to order food from outside vendors, and all the stuff was bought pre-made and, I did not even buy a single thing because it was all done by the teachers. Kind of made me think why do we even need a food committee at first. But, I realised it was a bonus for me, I get to kind of slack.

best seat partner eva !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


Mr Low, my conductor, share a story about his friend leaving the world awhile ago. And that person is just 40+? isn't it pretty young for the technology nowadays? Heard he was slight plum and usually plum people have some type of heart diseases, but that wasn't the case. He fell, and it was just the end.

Of course there are more details to the story which I think it would best not to say.

After I heard the story, it kind of hit me. I thought of CO, I usually complain that it is so boring, I wish I could leave. But honestly, if you really think carefully. Half of my Secondary School days, I am a part in CO. There are times where it is so suckish, but there are MORE times where memories are made. Allowing me to know many people I wouldn't have known if I wasn't in CO. CO, is an orchestra I have to admit, an orchestra must have teamwork. Definitely, I have learnt how to work with people and now, I am Sec 3, I have the responsibility to guide and lead my juniors as well. I do not want to be the type of senior where I just disregard all the shits happening because I don't care.

CO is a family. Although it sucks sometimes, I have really fun and exciting memories I cannot deny. I really can't. It gave me a path, or rather sometimes ((or rarely)) a type of escape. Music does wonders to people.







The story also let me thought that, who knows someone around me will just be gone the next day? Honestly, it is a sad fact because we really do not know what will happen the next second of our life. But isn't that that made it extra exciting, extra beautiful and extra hyped for the future?

I think it is just wanting to express yourself as much as you want. Never know what will happen yknow!






Just to sum up my whole camp. It was a crazy up down hill.


Good Luck x.