Monday, 28 July 2014

vide : leer : empty

Never felt so empty in my life before.

But this emptiness is making me feel insanely sane.


How much do you want me to prove to you that I am just a nut shell left here?

Do you want to take a look inside?

Do you want to rip my chest apart?

Do you want to experiment?



I am liking this feeling, the feeling of nothingness, I like how light weight my heart feels, well since it is empty.

NO, please do not mistake and mix this with insecurity, this isn't insecurity at all. You have to feel insecurity, but I don't even feel now so.. yeah.

You can say that this is attention seeking. I am seeking for other's sympathy, other's care, other's time and effort. If that is what you are feeling, I am sorry then, maybe I am?

Haven't been eating dinner well this days, cannot really seem to eat anything down. Not even water.

All this are fearing me. I am afraid of what I might be coming through, the outcome of what I have chose. I am not a good person, I am not a saint, and I am not sorry for that?

Not sure what is emotions right now, I feel nothing. When I say nothing, it is really nothing.


No love.

No care.

No pain.

No fucks in short.



Yeah, like I always say, who the hell do I think I am to deserve to be treated like a princess. In my mind, I am already one so yeah does not really matter.

Hey, you. Are you in my life now? If you are, I give you a chance now. Run away if you want, go as far as you want away from me. Tell me now, if you really want to. I would love to see you, and your back turning towards me.

The feeling of betrayal is the best feeling on earth. It stings alittle, but at least I know. It is not me handling this piece of shit anymore.

I just want to cover my face. I live on. 

Nothing matters much anymore.

Running a fever while I type this, hope it makes some sense at least.


instagram: @nsnceline

lookbook: nsnceline.looks.nu

Saturday, 26 July 2014

Finally Fifteen


Birthday - A day where we commemorate the origin, founding, or beginning of something.
This year 2014, I turn 15, finally fifteen.

Celebrated my birthday in the most low key manner this year. But one of the most memorable times I ever had.

Not saying much, I only have a few wishes for the 15th year of my life. Is it a obligation to share wishes down here? Will you guys ever see and grant me?

The most important thing I wish for now is, health and happiness. Not going to lie, I wish for this 2 every single year over and over and over again. What more can I actually ask for than those priceless smiles and laughter I can ever get from others?

I want to let down past grudges but touching my heart, I can never forgive nor intend to forgive those who might have hurt me. It is like a knife, if you cut me, it will heal as time passes , but there will be a scar. For this, I am a little goner about this, I took much things into consideration to even set myself to wish this to the burning candle.

I want to stop lying. But apparently, some things well off better not knowing anything, right? White lies are just my weakness, because I say them too easily, too fast. I hate liars, hate is a strong word and I am using it, I hate liars. But I am one myself, that is the irony I live in. This superficial world just scares me so bad.



BUT ANYWAYS! I had a cake, and had candles this year as well. But in the hospital, stop asking me why but I just celebrated it inside a hospital, and it did not feel great as much. This birthday, the only thing I am upset about is.. whom which I consider closest to me, didn't wish me. Until the last minute, I was waiting but nothing came. Sad enough, right? Who knows that this is the way she want to prove she turned her back on me? Hope you are reading this, or hope someone send you this, or maybe I should just say it in your face.





In a sense, 25th of July is not complete, but in another sense, I am blessed.

I had a great time out. Never had such fun in sometime. Emotional day, filled with surprises ( good and bad ones).

Now that I am typing this. I feel so weird.

Florite Ninja



This is the outfit I chose to wear on my birthday. I just thought it literally reflected me. I enjoy dark concepts, especially towards  full black outfits. It just make me feel like I can do anything. The suspender straps have white wordings that I never tried to understand. I wore my school shoes, it is becoming a bad habit of mine to do that. Wearing the nearest shoe I can find. I wore a necklace that has kind of a shark tooth, and a necklace gifted to me by a person close to my heart.

Sum up my birthday, I am a really blessed person, past is, now is, still will.

and look at my baby cousin who was just borned~~~



I am sorry, but I love you.

When I have any nice things to say about this birthday, I will show you guys.




ig: @nsnceline

Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Salivate

Firstly, let me show you some pictures of Dim Sum.






I stumbled upon this cute little place where I got one of the good place for dim sum. And yeah, ate quite a bit and not going to exercise, because I am a sucker.

Firstly, my life is not that exciting every single day honestly guys, if you think that way, I cannot explain anymore further. Although there are some things happening, I just want to spend time with friends and family. So, honestly I have nothing much to share about my life up until now.



Screwed up the first O level examination, and still trying to save it and preventing it from getting worse. Thankfully, weirdly, my parents are not much concerned about this O level, rather they are quite supportive nowadays. Maybe they understand I am trying my best for this exam? This has got to be the best type of feeling I have experienced in awhile from now. Cherishing the faith, is what we all are supposed to do.

Just today, I feel that I was an emotional unstable person. I almost or rather I cannot stand hard feelings. Especially when I gave all my trust and I gain but shattered pieces of heartbreak. I cannot even understand why people do this type of thing. People hurt each other, humans vs humans. Sometimes I even think we can't even compare ourselves to animals, no matter against loyalty, love, and every single sense. Who knows I have already offended people? Just, always put yourself at the first place, and never forget unless you found that really special person that really deserves it.



Talking about loving yourself, please take care of your own health, there are so many people falling sick nowadays. If you are about you fall sick, try drinking more water and eating more fruits, the weather is freaking hot these days so never forget to drink as much water as  you can, as much as a camel if you must. Doing light exercise can also strengthen your immune system.

For me, my face has been getting worse, not sure if because the changing weather that made it became worse or just my hormones are just getting crazy inside my body. All juggled up.

I finally watched the fault in our stars, honestly, not going to lie. I cried like crazy once Gus told Hazel he was going to die. From there onwards, it is gone, I just keep on crying and crying for goodness sake. Not sure if anybody saw or judge me but the story was just making me feel emotional. I am such a sucker for romance films. Because I usually cannot hold back my tears.



Well, the movie taught me a few things, which was to cherish people whom I am close with now, because we will never know what will happen the next second. Secondly, there can be people who tries to understand, and pretend to understand but never will because they are not going through the same thing as you are. And lastly, someone will love you for what you are, so you do not need to change.

Here are 2 ootds I would like to share, I went out more than this but I did not take any pictures becasue I don't feel like it.

Colour Swirl :




Top: Bangkok
Bottom: Forever 21
Shoes: All Star
Necklace: strigio


This outfit makes me feel so happy in a sense where I finally implied colours into my outfits. I do not see tie dyes in Singapore all that much at all. I have a feeling this will come back to trend but I guess, by that time, I would have not like it. I cannot explain how I like this casual feeling of this, in my comfort zone but not exactly. But this outfit makes me feel really happy and going lucky.


Second outfit is called: Animal bound



Dress: bangkok
shoes: wholesale7


This leopard type of dress is actually flying out of my comfort zone and honestly, I doubt wearing this again. It is such a statement piece, the prints are just so into your face so I did not pair it with necklace or bracelet. I just wore some white strappy heels, and just went out like this.

Thanks for reading this random type of post.
            

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

De-coding Guys

We all have secrets we want to hide from the opposite gender.

Sorry guys, I am going to reveal your secrets today.

There are many things we do not actually realise about a guy, until he actually says it or confess doing it.

DISCLAIMER : I do not claim that all of this apply to all the guys in the world, this is just what I noticed and realised through conversation with my guy friends. Every guy is different so people, if you get ditched don't come find me.

It is the same for the girls as well, but well, I am a girl so I will just keep all those a secret for now.

Are you ready? Lets go!


First, guys like it when we girls can get comfortable with them.


Being a girl we often have reserved when we are with the opposite gender, but if you get too stiff around a guy, it is going to be real awkward for them as well. I mean, try not to be soooooo shy, but shy. Because I believe guys will like their girl, to be open and extra caring to them. Whether friendship or otherwise. Don't be all like, " OMG he is so handsome, I shall be more feminine and reserve".  NO, not this way. Be yourself, not only guys like it, I believe we girls like it too. Being comfortable can also mean about how you wear,  I believe guys love it when girls take their time to dress, makeup and blah. But if you are just chillin' in with a movie, it is nice to just wear some comfortable clothing and no makeup too, right?


Secondly, THEY LIKE IT WHEN YOU TEXT FIRST.




Lets get real here, have you ever waited and waited for a "good morning" text to come but it never did? Well, why can't you be the one saying  "good morning" first. It is not a speech or enterprise, just do it, it will not kill you. I do not know how happy he might feel and who knows he might just scream in excitement becasue he got a text from you first? (Impression Marks PLUS PLUS PLUS PLUS)


3! WHEN YOU WEAR THEIR CLOTHES/HOODIES/JERSEY/WHATEVER.


To see something that fits perfectly on himself but oversized on you could be a trigger to extreme cuteness. IDK WHY too, but this is one of the most common response a guy could give to me. I guess they just like how laid back and how comfy it can look on a girl. Hoodies, I think this is the most amazing thing, even I myself as a girl, wants to steal. I like oversized jackets, although it may look a little too big but I guess that is the attractive point? This proved you do not have to wear skin tight clothing to be sexy.


4. Take note: Guys do cry.

Sometimes we over think that a guy is strong enough, but when you actually pierce through their heart, you might not even know it. They cry, if they say they haven't in awhile, or 10 years did not. They are most likely lying. We are all humans, and we cry, we cry to vent. Give them your biggest listening if they do. If they cry infront of you... girl, you have earned someone whom you should never let him go.


5. Guys are sensitive too

Yknow how people say like, "OMG he is so not sensitive to my feelings how can he say this, that he is ugly blah blah blah" Stop, if you don't like it, he does not like it too. Bear with this, they are generally more emotional than girls, just that guys does a better job at hiding it. Like this is FACT OF THE DAY, something very little can affect their confidence and their emotions.


WE ALL HAVE SHITS IN OUR LIFE. WE CRY, BITCH. SO STOP JUDGIN'.


6. When he tease you, it means he likes you.


Likes may or may not be those special feelings. Like can just be a mutual feeling. When he gently plays or pull your hair, or like light punches you, or maybe want to have more skin contact with you. Girl, the game is on. He is interested in you, why will anyone be like this if not? Quit thinking too much about everything sometimes. BUT, if he really PUNCHES YOU. YOU, need to give him a ninja kick with 2 tight slaps and freaking 3 shoe faced.


THAT IS ALL I GOT FOR THIS. Honestly I can go on and on and on and on and on with this but hey, yknow, we want to know shits so, let me know if you liked this. And if there is a guy reader..... tell me how true this is!


Stay amazing


ig: @nsnceline

Saturday, 12 July 2014

Gradient Lips




SO, many people ask me how I do my gradient lips so, just let me teach you too okay?

If you do not know what is gradient lips yet, it is very popular in Korea as they imply this to make their lips look pouty and cuter. Gradient lips is basically where the darkest colour is inside and slowly fades out.

I personally liked this look a lot. No particular reason, I think it just give a good mix of cuteness on my face and rough on my outfit.

So, you will need :



So firstly, you need to pat your concealer or foundation over your lips. Look like a pale ghost...



Den, take your lipstick, and put it only on the middle of your lips, both up and down. Be slow with this because if you screw at this part, you will have to redo it again.




Use finger to and pat the lips gently and spread the product to the rest of your lips. BE GENTLE OKAY, do not go all rough.



Lastly, put more lipstick on the middle to give a more outstanding gradient effect.



SMOOCH ON YOUR CLEAR LIPGLOSS. And you are good to go baby.


you can experiment with different colours, like orange~ 



Hope you guys learnt something...

I love you!


ig:@nsnceline follow me okay

Friday, 11 July 2014

Sick Entry


Being sick is one of the worse things in life. Have you ever felt so ill before and you felt like you regret alot of things in life and begin to think of what are the goodness of your life. I am not sure what I am talking about, but that is how I feel when I fall ill.

I have exceptional thought when I am ill, but I don't share it because I feel that people do not understand or rather, they wouldn't want to know anyways. What is so interesting about Celine, like seriously.

I am lying on my bed typing this crap, well, don't judge me. I am heck of a tired but I still wanted to do this because I am a brat. Going to finish typing before the medicine hits in.

So recently, as of, if you read my blog. I have some unhappiness due at the last week of June Holidays. Not saying that it sucked all the way, there are magical things that happened. Like getting to know new people and learning new quality that I currently possess. That week was the worst day, or week in 2014. I had the worst mental breakdown, I cried almost every night until I fall asleep because I was internally hurt. There are many things that happened, not only friendship problems but family problems, social problems. My social skills fell upon dead woods during that week.

I know in many eyes, I am considered strong and all. Yes, I am but that does not mean you can give fucks to me. Like a quote say, being strong is good but that makes people think that it is okay to hurt you. Fuck no, fuck you for hurting people. Because we all possess feelings, no matter how we try to ignore, be ignorant, there is a limit for all of us. Some are better while some are weaker.

The reverse of controversy.

I had one of the worse days of my life where I could actually bring myself to cry in public. I have a strong pride so no matter what, if I can I will NEVER EVER cry in public. Can you just see how much it hurt me on the inside. You can guess?

One bullet is enough to kill, but I have hundreds and thousands crossing my heart at a go.

Every experience give us an extra chance to be stronger, to learn something. I learn something, so I am going to teach you all.

wrote this myself


Trust no one fully except for yourself, until you think the person deserve what they deserve to know.

There is this girl, whom I trust a lot, I opened myself to her, I let her see all my flaws, sadness, happiness, worries, sorrows. But, she cannot do the same. I always think I can read her like book, I mean, I used to but not anymore because she is building walls, and I am never able to crack them open. Everyone has a wall inside their heart, so we have to choose wisely on who, should or might let in.

Once you let the wrong one in, trust me, get prepared to be hurt.

I put in trust and my effort way too quickly than all of you expect. Most likely, I am going to be the one getting hurt, I mean, we both are going to get hurt. I am human afterall, I do not know what you are going through if you do not express, don't assume I can understand what you are thinking, because I am tired of trying to know you. I always try my best yknow babe, but I just don't feel like it anymore. It hurts way too much to even bear.

*

Just some future thoughts and events that are going to take place.
I am going to sit for my O-levels Chinese this year. I take higher mother tongue, that is why I have to take it this year. I am stressed, on the 17th, it marks the total beginning of every stressful event I am going to face. I am pressurised, I am afraid I cannot make it to the next year with good results. For the first time, I am going to actually put some efforts into reading and writing in Chinese. Because, I want to score. I believe everyone wants to too, so I have to work even harder together with the seniors and get the results I want. Starting of sec 3 doesn't feel stress at all, but as the end of year gets nearer and nearer, I start to feel the push and all the expectations. Wondering does you no good, just study because you know you will do well if you do.

My birthday is nearing, but I don't feel like it at all. I don't look forward to it as much as the previous years. But if you ask me what is the perfect gift for me? Handwritten letters.

After my POLY OR JC life, I will try to excel my studies to overseas because, Singapore is just not a place for me. I love the place, but I will want to have an overseas degree. Provided the money and time is alright for me to go over of course. I love the openness and carefree feelings people from across the world could give me. Here... Everyone is too suck up to be themselves, I want to have a platform that I can express myself, like here, on my blog.

I made a sound cloud account! Thanks to my table mate who introduce me to the app. My user name is : celng because someone used nsnceline already so.. yeah! Follow me and hear my voice if you would like to. I make short recordings only for now. Because it is just an hassle to do a full song right now. The quality of the recording is not too bad that it might hurt your ear so do not worry guys! and, I promise I will only upload quality work.

I was actually going to upload a video up to my youtube but happens that the video sucked so I deleted and I may or may not re-film it because I have 2 videos I wanted to make. Lets hope I get shit done soon.

I love you all, thanks for reading all of this crap.


ig:@nsnceline, make sure you follow me on instagram!

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

Misty Grave

" The slit of the gore,

the return of the torn.

The forgotten darkness,

spears and swords.

Fasten the western fold,

the return of the peace.

Foul and worries,

shall be in mist.

How long will it go on?

You ask.

*

Till the fallen of the graves,

shall be the, at last.

-nsnceline "



Being in the state of depression often gets us nowhere. We feel lost, feel. You were always on the correct path, so do not doubt it.

Being in the state of depression, means we are in the darkness. We are blinded by the pitch black, but trust me, you are not afraid of that pit of hell, you're just afraid of what might be in there.


Have a donut and chill.

Get that, you do not need everybody in your life. To me, I don't need anyone in my life. Having friends is definitely important, but you can't say you will die without them. Be independent.  

Remember, you have your own hands, legs, mouth, brain, eyes. Do not let what others assume what you are. You are such a unique piece yourself, fuck yourself to think you want to change honestly.

Remember I will always be there for you. When you learn.

I love you.



ig: @nsnceline

Monday, 7 July 2014

cuisinière w spicy rice cake

What a good morning to post about food to make all of you hungry. It is raining outside and I am playing my jam since 3 days ago. Perfect timing to show you all how to make some Spicy Rice Cake. It is a Korean dish, well, it is up to you if you want to continue seeing.



DISCLAIMER: I came up with this myself, or rather it is suppose to do it this way. If you have food poisoning, blame your kitchen and not me okay.

So, you will need to buy some Korean Rice Cake, you can get it at the NTUC or some other grocery store. But I got mine at a Korean Mart. There are 2 types of Rice Cake you can choose from, the long one or the flat one like mine. Both works the same. The sauce, chicken and ramen ( optional ), eggs, onion.



Firstly, you have to get a huge bucket and add COLD water. Soak the Rice Cake for about 20-30minutes.




While you soak, get 2 eggs, go ahead and hard boil it with boiling water. Oh do you guys have this problem where you undercook your hard boil egg, where the inner part of the egg is still undone, I always have this problem, so I usually let it boil for about 15mins JUST to make sure it is done.



Peel the onion and slice them into reasonable sizes but DO NOT DICE.



After you get your eggs, cook your ramen (( this is optional )), I just like adding ramen inside my Spicy Rice Cake so I can have more to eat.



You can add Chicken or Pork into the whole mix, so just cut up into smaller pieces like this. I am adding chicken. And I am not sorry if you think raw chicken looks disgusting, it is something you eat ok~



After preparing all of this, you are finally to mix everything. Take a huge pan, and start heating it up. After it heats up, add around 1.5 cup of water and add your drained rice cake.



Slowly gradually add the sauce into the mix, and stir it occasionally.



After that you can add in your cooked ramen and chicken and whatever you prepared extra, EXCEPT FOR THE EGGS. Put all into the pan and stir until the sauce become a little sticky.



And.. I forgot to take a picture when I serve so, here is the final look, before I ate every single piece.



Hope this might help you somewhere some point in life. Surprise surprise, Celine can actually cook. Yeap, I can just not always and not often and not confident enough sometimes.

I love you!


ig: @nsnceline

Saturday, 5 July 2014

Rainbow Highness

Rainbow Highness.



This whole outfit is making me feel like a real diva. I love how the colours just smack into your face and make the atmosphere a little brighter than it really is. I do look really approachable finally? or nah? I am really into dresses, especially weird dresses like this. I have personally never seen something like this in this country at least. I love unique things like this, because it make me stand out I like that feeling. People most likely is going to think: who is this crazy bitch wearing this kind of clothes in public? Hello, now you know, me.

I am wearing the colourful socks that is literally OUT  of my comfort zone. It is fun working with unfamiliar things because you get to experience the differs and may actually fit it next time. I used to be a all black or white person but colours just invaded into my life and I just cannot stop it anymore.

This might sting to some people, but if you are not getting your ass out of what you usually do, you are going nowhere.









I got 3 new lipstick shades. Presuming that Monday is a full holiday, I am going to take the best lighting to flim my lipstick collection. It is a sneak already people, stay tuned. Stay beautiful.

I love you.

ig:@nsnceline