HELLO, did you guys miss me?
I am finally back with a blog post… like really finally. I am really busy and stuff, I know all of that is excuses but I really have nothing to blog about because it has been really just studying, CCA and school activities. Honestly, I am tired, mentally and physically tired, all of those shit.
At this point of time, I had a lot of realizations. For example, I realize that I am a total nerd. I do almost everything a nerd does EXCEPT for studying. I read a lot recently, loving the anime and even painting????????? (I will leave some recommendations, books & anime, below so check them out if you would like). I have pure addiction over all of those stuff and I could ramble random stuff like how the earth is created, ending, personal opinions NON-STOP to people around me. I swear I could just go on and on and on. It is just personal interest that I take close to my heart and when I literally find someone that has the same interest or scope as me, I would freak out and text them all day with full concentration.
I am a weird person. Such a weird person.
|still in my pajamas, quit judging humans.|
I have become more and more closed (?). I dislike discussing or sharing as much as the past, I honestly felt very shocked as I became more and more introvert than I should be. I still talk, I still laugh, I still act like a human being but the difference is that, I cannot handle expressing myself anymore and whenever I do I will probably be on a rampage. I cannot handle people not standing on the same page as me, my expectation rose faster than the speed of light. I am not sure if it is because of the fact that I am focusing too much on my self-improvement, or just myself in general, that caused that distinctive line I drew. I cannot help myself at all, I have no self-control.
Because of this, I have low-concentration, low focus, low self-esteem. You guys might just know, I am all about feeling confident and myself. Nowadays, I have thoughts about how I should dress to impress people, not for myself but others. Progressing until this stage I am afraid I would lose my own belief if I let this continue to drown in me.
It will devour me.
So yea, I kept my promise of painting every single month. I didn’t share them honestly only because I thought it wasn’t good enough to be shown. I do not want to show shabby work. I have one painting that I am happy about now, but it is not the time to show yet (?). It is meant as a present for someone who guided me along in many aspects of my life, enlightening me in every way. I will upload pictures of it after I give it away to prevent spoilers.
Talking about paintings, I am about to go to Art Friend to get a bunch of canvas and painting material. I am not a pro or anything, painting is therapeutic to me. It helps me express things that I couldn’t even show, it does a good job bringing me to “another dimension”. OH, I get annoyed if someone disrupts my chain of thoughts about paintings. People who try and TEACH me how to paint, I don’t think there is any specific way of painting. Just like how every artist have different style of drawings and colouring techniques. Starting, you will find yourself mimicking the way they do things, but slowly you develop your own. Like your handwriting, everyone started out with the exact same A B C sheet of paper, but it eventually changes over time.
Enough about all the things that changed, I am going to talk about things that didn’t.
I still love my shoes, clothes, bags, makeup. I still buy them on and off, well as I am typing this I just ordered something online. My table is still very messy. And I am still me. :D
WHY IS THE WEATHER SO WARM!!!!!!!!!!
So, I should stop rambling, tell me what you guys want to see next. (I AM BUYING A NEW CAMERA SO I AM EXCITED)
Book recommendations :
Angels and Demons, is about religion and science. It is very conceptual and very well done book, when you pick up the book it just gets more and more exciting as you read.
Linked is about a a pair of twins who are connected, and corrupted governance.
Good Bye and See you!
Instagram: @yurikiza / @aurigation